Again, I Stopped Fighting God

I know.  It is not a good idea to challenge God.  It is not that I would win the war against Him; rather, it is that I had concerns about the battle He had chosen for me.  I can explain.

When I was first called into the gospel ministry, I fought a private war with God.  I did not want this calling; I did not understand why He would place me in this situation; and I did not understand with all of my imperfections and excuses, what good could I serve?

During that fight, for more than a year and half, I could not sleep.  No matter how much I wanted to rest at night – I could not.  There came a night I was so tired that I said to God, “I am sorry.  I give in.” Immediately, my spirit rested. It was the first time in more than a year, I slept soundly.  There is more to my story, but the important thing is I stopped fighting God.  I am most thankful that He allowed me to live to share this story today. That was fifteen years ago.

Two years ago, in 2019, there I was again – in a personal, private battle. After years of working in the church as an Assistant, God interrupted my “flow.” What? I was actively involved in Christian studies; I was preaching; I was ministering, I was…. Then, this happened.

Here I was – in a holding pattern.  My Mom was in a place where she needed more personal attention.  It changed my “church routine.”  I was upset.  Why would God allow this happen to two people who enjoyed being in church?  How am I going to be able to preach, teach and fellowship as a minister?  This was a physical, emotional, and spiritual challenge.  So, I believed. I had limited resources to reach others.

Once again, God was patient with me.  He showed me what it really meant to be a Servant Leader – it began in my home with the most vulnerable – Mom. 

Thus, when the pandemic (COVID-19) bought congregations and churches to a place of shut-in, Mom and I had already adjusted to this place in our lives – life changing circumstances. 

It was this place of captivity that wisdom and understanding increased.  It was in this place that God allowed me to write “Servant Leadership NOW – “Stepping Up Your Leadership Call.”  Every story, person, and activity is given from God (I have been told that this was my Mom’s book – I just wrote it). 

Maybe it is more accurate to say I was running but how can that be?  You (Jonah) cannot run from God no more than you can fight against the prick and win.

Like some of you, I was “fighting against the Will of God for that moment in time.”  Once again, I am thankful He forgave my ignorance and showed me mercy and grace.

Just like you, sometimes as Servant Leaders, we have to remind ourselves not to fear; remind ourselves that we are on God’s agenda. His agenda must be our agenda. Changes in our lives are not challenges to Him. We may feel challenged but He will give us strength. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, Romans 8:28 NIV.

I hope this message will encourage you today; and if you are fighting His decision, I pray you will “Step Up Your Leadership Call” for Him.


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