Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
I know. It is not a good idea to challenge God. It is not that I would win the war against Him. Instead, it is that I had concerns about the battle He had chosen for me. I can explain.
When I was first called into the gospel ministry, I fought a private war with God. I did not want this calling. Moreover, I did not understand why He would place me. I did not understand with all of my imperfections and excuses, what good could I serve?
For more than a year and half, I could not sleep. No matter how much I wanted to rest at night – I could not. In my frustration, one night, I cried out. “God, I am sorry. I give in.” My spirit immediately was at rest. It was the first time in more than a year, I slept soundly. There is more to my story, but the important thing is I stopped fighting God. I am most thankful that He allows me to live and share my challenges and victories.
After the Surrender
I was already actively involved in Christian studies prior to my calling. God’s response to this calling was, ” Sit.I will show you.” where you should go. I was preaching; I was ministering, I was…. Then, this happened.
Here I was – in a holding pattern. My Mom at that time, required a great deal of care. It changed my “church routine.” I was upset. Why would God allow this happen to two people who enjoyed being in church? How am I going to be able to preach, teach and fellowship as a minister? This was a physical, emotional, and spiritual challenge. So, I believed. I had limited resources to reach others.
Patience to Learn
Once again, God was patient with me. He began to show me what servant leadership really is about. It began in my home. I was the caregiver of a valuable servant of God, my mom.
Before the global pandemic, Mom and I had already adjusted to unable to move around as before. I had to come to terms with her limitations.
In this place of captivity, my wisdom and understanding as a caregiver grew. During that time, I wrote my first book about Servant Leadership. It is service outside of yourself. Caregiving is a humbling experience. It helps to change the things that you can. Accept the things that you cannot. God gives you the wisdom to know the difference.
Struggles that are Great Tests
God does not tempt us. He gives us tests. The purpose is to grow up. We are in good company with people like Abraham (Genesis 22:1). You cannot run from God no more than you can fight against the prick and win. Like, Jonah, you could end up in the belly of the great fish.
Instead, forgive yourself of your ignorance. God will forgive and strengthen you. Learn from His grace. In addition, remind yourself that it is God’s agenda. Changes in our lives are not challenges to Him. We may feel challenged, but He will give us strength.
Finally, if you are fighting His decision, I pray you will “Step Up Your Leadership Call” for Him.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, Romans 8:28 NIV